Issue #6 - 10/19/2025

The Adverbial Life

Notes on Thriving Solo

Greetings Reader!

Some beginnings arrive with fanfare. Others slip in quietly.

It's odd to me sometimes just how unobtrusive a powerful beginning can be. This Eating Adverbs book project for instance, started with a simple ten-minute Zoom call with the publisher. There was nothing planned, nothing formed, no clear idea if I even had the capacity to write a book. We just chatted about my fascination with solo activities.

But that short call was like opening a doorway - very quietly and slowly. Once opened, it didn't close and continues to propel me forward.

This week, I’m thinking about five adverbs that feel like doorways. Each one carries a rhythm, a reminder, and a way to begin again: Today, Completely, Effortlessly, Abroad, and Once.

TIME

The Urgency & Grace of the Present

Today.

“Today” feels like the kind of word that should come with a bell chime or maybe the smell of rain on pavement (which, incidentally, is exactly what I’m smelling as I write this.)

There’s something about this moment that feels both ordinary and monumental. I’ve spent years circling the ideas that eventually became Eating Adverbs, but not in a straight line. Nothing in life seems to run in straight lines. Earlier this year, in springtime (the time of beginnings) things started to coalesce. Slowly - with writing, rewriting, doubting, deleting, and returning. But the truth is, this book has been forming for decades - percolating in the back of my mind and waiting for the right time to begin.

And now, here I am. Sitting at my desk, the same place where I’ve cried, laughed, and stared blankly at the ceiling trying to find the right words.

"Today" is always a beginning - not a finish line. It doesn't have to be dramatic and, in fact, most of the time it is quiet and deliberate.

There is a kind of grace in choosing to do something "Today," not because everything is ready, but because something inside says, "It’s time."

DEGREE

The All-In Committment

Completely.

I haven't been writing Eating Adverbs halfway.

I have written with my whole being. With my fingers bruised from gripping a pen too tightly and my desk cluttered with post-it notes and with drafts I couldn’t bear to delete. Yes - I am 'old school' and tend to write all of my notes longhand before sitting down to type. The amount of paper I have used would probably alarm the conservationists out there.

Eating Adverbs is the most emotionally intense creative thing I’ve ever done. Some days I feel proud. Some days I feel like I’m shouting into a void.

But I keep going. Because I believe in what the book can do. I truly believe it is more than words on paper - it's the catalyst for a movement.

MANNER

The Illusion of Ease

Effortlessly.

I know this Eating Adverbs process might look effortless: the curated posts, the well-produced video, the tidy campaign page. Even that smiling photo from 1989 (which you’ll see a bit further down in this newsletter).

But behind the scenes, it’s messy. My desk is a collage of sticky notes, some with ideas I love and some with ideas I’ve already outgrown. I’ve cried into my coffee more than once.

I’ve cried into my wine a whole lot more.

There are days when I feel like I’m building something beautiful, and days when I feel like I’m unraveling in slow motion.

Eating Adverbs is a book about solo joy, but writing it has been anything but solo. It’s taken a village of encouragement: friends who text me reminders to breathe, readers who send quiet affirmations, and a few people who’ve said, “This matters. Keep going.”

I’m still learning how to ask for help, still learning that grace doesn’t mean ease and most importantly - still learning that what looks effortless often takes everything you have.

PLACE

The Geography of Transformation

Abroad.

In 1989, I packed a backpack and flew to Europe. When I got on the plane in September 1989, I didn’t know what I was looking for. I just knew I needed to go. Here is a photo of my on that trip, sometime in early November 1989 overlooking Neuschwanstein Castle in Bavaria. I miss that trenchcoat and, boy, what tales it could tell.

That trip, three months of solo wandering, planted the seed for Eating Adverbs. The gestation period was long - very long - but it has finally blossomed after 36 years.

I often think about concepts like "abroad" and feel like they are far more than an external concept. There is a faraway place - abroad - within our minds that also needs exploration and often excavation. Eating Adverbs is not about travel or dining - it's about transformation. Sometimes the catalyst comes from the outside (like that backpacking trip) and sometimes from the inside.

That trip and all the things that have come since leading to this book have taught me that solitude isn’t something to fear. It’s something to savor.
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FREQUENCY

Repetition, Memory, and Ritual

Once.

This week, I have focused on things that evoke memory.

Campaign Update

I want to thank everyone who’s supported the campaign so far. Your early belief means everything.

I’ll be honest: it’s moving slowly and I need help.

This book isn’t just a personal project, I believe that it is the beginning of a movement. One that reframes solitude, celebrates intentional living, and invites people to thrive in their own company.

If you’ve been waiting for the right moment to support, this might be it. There are seven tiers of support, but also a more 'free-form' donation option at the bottom of the page.

One of my favorite support options is Tier 6: The Workshop Patron. I think it's perfect for book clubs or other social groups.

And I am throwing in a special bonus to that one. Anyone who supports at Tier 6 will also get a free wine tasting class for themselves and a group of friends. I am thrilled to share my wine knowledge after years of study and finally passing my final diploma exam in the Wine & Spirit Education Trust. We could even combine the workshop with the tasting - kind of "eating adverbs and drinking them at the same time." And, yes, I am willing to travel even if that means hopping on a plane.

Please share this campaign with your friends, family, and professional networks.

Thank you for believing in me!

Adverbially Yours,
Tommy